Wow! It's another Simple Saturday...

Denise and I were driving home from the doctor this after noon, while stopped at a light we heard kids screaming and thought some kids were playing somewhere, looked over and saw a school bus. I saw a little girl run to the front of the bus to talk to the bus driver and the driver apparently told her to sit down. She went back to her seat slowly when another little jumped out and took her down. Literally. She grabbed her by the neck and pulled her to the floor. The driver was looking in the mirror, apparently directing children who didn't care lot of what she said. I felt sorry for the little girl who had quite obliviously been asking for help, I can think of a million things I would have done, buy I have never been in that position. So how could I know the situation? Denise and I discussed it as we drove away talking bout that being the most dangerous job in the world, but the strange thing is, I think it must be. How do you turn your back on 30 - 40 kids every day? Even today I think about that little girl. I hope It was a one time thing, not a bullying situation.
You can't tell, but this is a picture of an airplane. Yep, that's right. I had airplanes flying around my yard last night.I caught this one coming in for a landing. then it took off again.
Natasha loves planes. When we pick up her mom, the place she works is close to an airport, so we would sit out and watch airplanes. Tasha gets so excited when a plane goes over. Her uncle last night started to make paper airplanes for her, so we started with airplanes in the house. Then they swooped out to the back yard. Planes landing at sunset. Mom and Uncle Eric were her supporting planes. The flew, and landed and whooped making plane noises all over the yard. I wondered what the neighbors thought. We live in a neighborhood of older people, grandparents.
People who like peace and order. What I hope they did was smile at the grown up who were not afraid to look silly with a Little girl.
I think they probably did. Parents get so busy, they don't remember how to be silly. I watching a TV program the other day about a cop who hated Chrismas, and a little girl asked when had he forgotten?
"Forgotten what?" he asked?
"Forgotten what it was like to believe that a man who doesn't even know you will fly all over the world thousands of miles, just to leave you a present."
"That's not true," the policeman retorted,
"But it is to kids, and if you could just remember that feeling, you'd never forget childhood."
I asked my son if he could remember anything silly I did with them when they were kids, He gave me a list:

Water Balloon fights

Bringing home appliance boxes so they could build things in the back yard.
Swim Days
Airplanes. Airplanes?

I just asked for one, I got many. I guess they got their silliness from me. I hope all parents remember there kids are young but once, so take a minute and be silly.I really really liked the water balloons as I recall.

Tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday, I know everyone is sitting in the edge of their chairs waiting on the super bowl, Me? I am waiting on the commercials. It amazes me they pay 3 million dollars for 30 seconds but no one seems to think anything of it.Any way, thats not my point. Everyone has favorites, Mean Joe Green is I believe everyones Favorite But it's not mine my son's favorite one is 1984: Apple http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R706isyDrqI

My Daughter's is doesn't really have one, but if she did being she over frogs I would have to guess this onehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVcbasIb8lQ And that one is cute, but my favorite is the one that every women can relate to. The one that A single women after a bad date will watch and shake her head, the one that married women understand This is My Favorite

Made my day.

postscript: I have worked all day on this blog. The pictures wouldn't post, I just can' t get Hyperlinks right, the ones correct I give credit to my son. I am going out for a Ben and Jerry's maybe two.. It has been anything but a "Simple Saturday" Maybe I'll have three..

No TV??????!!!!!! oh well it's Wednesday

I am sitting her at my computer, it's Wednesday. And Wednesday is always  weird day. It's in the middle of everything. Worse yet, nothing seems to happen on Wednesday. It's just a day.

I can' think of any notable event that has occured on a Wednesday. Tuesday is a big day, what with 9/11, inguraguations,  You have to have a healthy respect for Tuesdays. But Wednesday?  

My daughter is out on a date, they are walking around downtown Charleston, which is a wonderful thing to do on a date, so much to see. Safe and out in the open. 

But she left me with a rowdy Tasha, who is very upset because her mom told her and I gaily, No TV today. She is watching to much Television, then promptly left for the day. 

Who deals with the no TV? Nanny. And that, people, is the kind of day Wednesday always is. 

Not that TV is a good thing, but it is a relief , just for a moment.

So we are into the no TV thing. Tasha wanted to take a bath, and we always do around lunchtime before nap because nights are too cold here right now, so we took a bath, she took all five of her Disney princesses, Dora doll, two cars, and hopped in the tub. I knew we were in for the long haul. so that was a good thing. 

She played I read, it was relaxing for both her and I.

After we washed, her, her hair, her princesses, her Dora doll and the bathroom floor, we had snack cookies an milk. Then rest time. We can't call it nap time, because that causes problems. We don't take naps. We take "a little rest" so we can get on with a busy day. 

You have to think faster then a 2 year old. 

I a, always thankful I will never have a chance to go on That show, "Are you smarter then a fifth grader," because I don't think I am. Most days I am not smarter then a two year old, what hope do I have for a fifth grader?

My 2.11 year old is now sitting under my desk, playing  with her princess, and using the side of the desk for bongo drums. 

She has an amazing imagination for a almost three year old.  She can keep herself busier then  most kids. 

When my children were little TV was restricted to 2 hours a day, period for the three of them. 

I remember them out in the back Yard, building forts, I remember a period where they played office. they set up desks, an phones in the basement and played office all day. 

They had a ball,I am not sure what went on in that office, but it kept them busy for a week. they got up, ate breakfast and rushed to their office every day.

We had a little house in the backyard, a guest house. The girls set it up to play "Babysitters club" and had kids from church come over. 

The testament of her trustworthy our kids were is the fact parents of two and three year old left their kids with my 10 And 11 year old. For hours. and never worried.

I supplied the snacks the girls supplied the fun. They made flyer's, they charged i think 10 cants a child, so they made money.

I wish, very much, We could have afforded  a camera then. Because I have fresh memories in my mind and i can see it, but I can't share it. 

So not having a TV is not a bad thing, I don't think because it made my kids imaginations grow, they had to think of things to do. I remember that summer, weeks before cleaning out the green house and planning what they would do with the kids.

It's an amazing thing to me now.

So the no TV thing may not be bad. Natasha has now place her coat and my sweater on the floor under the desk and is waiting for Santa Claus. Well she is only 2.11 you know.

We called Mommy and Mommy said she can watch Barney, sssso Thank God for on Demand..

So it will still be a dull laid back day, mommy is bringing french fries, nanny is going to wash her hair and get ready for work. 

 Wednesdays are like that. 

I got tagged on face book with the 25 things about yourself assignment. I know its going around because three other blogger I follow also got tagged with it. It is a great way to get to know each other, but as I thinking of the 25 things, it makes you reflect on what you know about yourself. So here are my 25 things.:
I My granddaughter is the love of my life.
2. I have awesome kids.
3. I love to read,
4. I love to dance.
5. I am told I have a great sense of humor, I like to be silly (yes at my age)
6. I love Mexican food
7. I have a love.hate relationship with cooking. sometimes I do sometimes I don't
8. I just redid my bedroom in hunter green and mauve.
9. I have a passion for protecting kids.
10. I work out twice/three times a week.
11. I spend to much time on the 'puter
12. I am a teacher,I used to teach English and history but you couldn't tell it by my spelling.
13. I too love a clean house,
14. I never take myself or others to seriously.
15. I am very laid
16 I love shoes. I had 150 pairs at one point in my life.
17 I love horses
18.I am a country girl, stuck int he city.
19.I collect Teddy Bears...
20.I was raised in California, but am a southerner at heart.
21. I am a Aries. all the way.
22. Chocolate and I are soul mates.
23. Offer me coffee and I'll follow you anywhere.
24 I live in Jeans.
25. I love making friends but find it hard because I am shy.

I am not an exciting person, just a unique one. I am just me. But it was fun doing this, there are other things i could have added, things that may have defined me as me:
I am a Christian
I am generally a happy person, That likes to make others happy as well.
I am an encourager
I am always a teacher and I like to teach
I am a strict manager
I love yogurt.
Somethings never change.

Cleaning up my act

I got up this morning, armed with determination. I was/am going to clean house on my computer!

I follow a lot of blogs, and a lot of people on Twitter. 

The thing about twitter though is, if someone follows me I feel obligated to follow them, even though I don't know them. I used to,in the beginning, when someone followed me I would check their websites and read their twitters to see if I would really read it, then I got so busy trying to mange twitter and twitter moms I just followed whoever followed me. 

That's Twitter good manners right?

I go through some of these accounts and they follow over  1000 people, who am I to have a problem with 44? Is there something wrong with me?

Well,no matter I am going to cut out the ones I don't read. So I got busy at 6am this morning. at 7:30 I have cut one twitter and no blogs. I like them all! So I gave up and decided to blog on it. 

Some better then others, some I read every day and will go back and read a second time some I just read once, one has recipes on it that I want to try, and...so on and so forth. 

I've got a little confidence on Twitter, I don't automatically follow just because they follow me.

And I only follow the blogs I really like so I will not add anymore. Well not after i add the one I just checked out on twitter from someone in New Zealand. I've never been to New Zealand, that one will be interesting! And since she chose to follow me.....all the way from over there.....

okay. I'm hooked, period.

I still have a lot to learn about social networking. As a matter of fact her is a list of things I want to learn:

1. How to post a hyperlink. I have the code but am doing something wrong.

2. How to change my photo on face book,  Haven't had any luck lately with this one.

3. How do I download a new template that is not blogger, or do I go to a different provider?

4: How many Twitters are you allowed to have?

5. How many Twitters can you do a day before your audience gets annoyed with you? Some         people twitter all day long and have 20 30 40 twits..I mean tweets.:)  

6 How to Stumble. Gave up on this one. I have enough social networks anyway. 

7: How do people decided whom to follow? I keep getting people I have never heard of. how did they find me? and why?

8. I have adsense. How do people get those nice ads on the side from the ad counci. I want one!

So that is a mini list. So I will go on learning, and after I get these questions answered I am sure I will have more. The one thing I have learned is that the more answers I get, they lead to more questions. 

you know what? That is probably the fun of it. 

Simple Saturday

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson


If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear it does it make a sound?

I have a friend, who just happens to be my daughters best friend since Jr high.Her mother was my best friend, and heroine. She still is, we don't talk nearly as much anymore. she is(the daughter) the one who got me started in blogging, and now that I am thoroughly hooked so much so I am learning to build a website and about to start yet another blog I don't know if I should thank her, fly to Virginia to give her a steak and bottle of wine, or just smack her on my way to the hospital for compulsive and disturbed people.
there is a recovery from drugs so there must be one from twittering and blogging.
I never do anything halfway, once hooked totally hooked.
Anyway, my friend does something called on her blog, called Random Fridays where she just sums of her week, or discusses different things she has been thinking about and doing.
Since then I researched several Blogs and see, some people do wordless Wednesday, or Scuttle but Thursday, mundane Monday so starting today I am doing:Simple Saturday

Update on Yogurt addiction:
Its still there. My daughter is actually enjoying it because every time she walks by me she shows her concern by asking me if I have had a yogurt, or her famous How many yogurts are in the fridge? And my all time favorite: She sent an email to everyone on her email list, called her dad and brother and told her Internet boyfriend. So much for family secrets. If you can't trust your kids, who can you trust? the real issues is of all things for Natasha to inherit, my yogurt addiction should not have been one of them. Friday morning she ate a yogurt sort of, let me just say when she brought me the container I looked at her, picked her up and just put her in the bathtub. Nothing else to do. But the addiction continues, even having Nanny comb yogurt out of her hair didn't discourage, every time Nanny has one, Tasha has to share. Their are worse addictions, I can't think of right now..unless of course you want to consider the Coke addict thing, but thats another blog.

Work:
It was interesting having to skedaddle on Wednesday night to lose my time when on Thursday I had to stay until 3am to do my schedules and help another manager do his. so I left the week with more overtime. Sad isn't it? The yogurt thing never would have occurred if he had just left me on my forklift. Can I bill Wal Mart?

Dating
A few years ago shortly after 9/11( well not shortly it was the third anniversary) I was wanting to do something for the firemen of or town so I cooked a big pot of Chili, made cornbread and a salad and took it to my nearest firehouse with a thank you card for all they do. The captain of the firehouse was kind enough to take my address so he could return my crock pot. A few days later, he showed up at my door with pizza, and invited me to go to the park with him to share it. Since I didn't know him he wasn't going to expect me to invite him in. I did anyway, after all he was a fireman right? Turned out he was not only a fireman but the nicest guy I have met before or since. So started a wonderful romance and relationship, which I ended because my daughter moved back home.
I have been thinking, the last few days of maybe going out and getting back into the game.
My daughter has met someone online she likes, but then again the entire male population of
Charleston seems to fall in love with her and gives her their phone number. A fellow blogger who has turned out to be quite an inspiration to me, mentioned she was making a list of things to blog about, I, being the thief I am, stole her idea and added to my list "pick up lines you hear at Denny's" to come in the future. Along with being single and over 45. I think I will do that one on Blog her...

The sum of all fears:
Which is a Tom Clancy book and very good book and movie BTW. To sum it all up, the Emerson quote was one I memorized in high school and tried to emphasis to all of my students when I taught English. I found it on a random blog and remembered it. I think if anyone can live that kind of a life then their life has been fulfilled.
My goal in life has always been to make a difference. Losing a child, my special interest has always been children. I belong to the several Child abuse societies, and volunteer whenever I can. I was CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) My biggest fear is I won't make a difference in this life to anyone else. That to me would be sad.

If a tree falls...I haven't the slightest idea. It was the intellectual question of the 80's. Dates me.

Natasha has watched three Barney's on the DVR, and has now dumped yogurt in her secret drawer where she keeps her treasures. I mus go clean tht up, I promise you my yogurt addiction is waning. This round of yogurt has been most annoying.

Accompaning Websites


http://www.zandria.us/archives/main/2009/01/23/random-friday-ver-82/


http://www.nationalcasa.org/

Confessions of a yogurt addict

I was busily working this evening, actually driving the forklift when I looked up and saw the co-manager of the store waving me down. Now I suppose if you don't drive a forklift you don't realize it doesn't turn on a dime, and he certainly didn't. By the time you reach co-manager of a store especially Walmart, you haven't driven a forklift or any of the equipment for quite a while. You are stuck in the  administration office, doing whatever it is they do in there until you come out and try to flag someone down who is trying to stack pallets exactly 14 high without dropping one in 28 degree temps.and yes, this is why I have associates under me to do this stuff, but it gets me out of the building.

At any rate, I did a 360 turn, went back to where he was, where he solemnly informed me I had 4 hours overtime and to skedaddle. do not stop at the door, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, or overtime. skedaddle. 

It is the end of the fiscal year for Walmart, cutting time and hours so we can come within our yearly budgets is very important. So I did. I parked, grabbed my things, quickly wrote notes for my people and skedaddled. To the grocery part of the store. 

Now everyone I know, has shopped at Walmart at some time or another. And rather or not you hate or love it, you have to admit, it is the most convenient way to spend your money.

I will, do anything not to go to a grocery store. If I cannot pick it up on the way home, it just doesn't get picked up by me. 

When I lived alone, I was known to live on yogurt and strawberry cheesecake ice cream, rather then shop or cook. Not the healthiest of diets, so to compensate, I would stop at the deli from time to time and buy a dinner or a salad. 

Needless to say, that is not an option now, have to be a good example for my Lil Darlin' so I have been known to even cook on occasion. A real meal with meat,veggies and everything.

Luckily the inclination doesn't hit me to often, so I am still sane. 

When my kids were young at home, I was homeschooling and cooked balanced meals every day. three times a day.

I even did menus and went shopping once a week. After 18 years though, my domestic side withered out. and luckily it coincided with both of my kids going off to college and getting married. Great timing. 

But tonight I had a flashback. Now I know yogurt is not healthy. No matter what they say. It has 27g of sugar and bad Carbs and 170 calories. The only good yogurt is the plain, with no fruit or sugar, but who wants that?

So today, as I was picking up breakfast food and looking for bologna (which we were out of BadWalmart, Bad,Bad Walmart!) I passed the yogurt and decided I would have a flashback.

I stopped and started to pick up a few, then I remembered I hadn't had this flavor for a while, and I loved Pina Colada and the strawberry banana, not to mention the cherry....

well I kept putting yogurts in my basket and then headed for the check out to go home. The only excuse I have is I blacked out. no really, I did.

At the register the cashier made the comment:

"you uh really like yogurt, don't you?"

At this point I looked in my basket and noticed the whole bottom was covered with yogurt.

Just about every flavor I have ever liked. Not to mention, Tasha's favorites that we only buy her for special treats. 

Being embarrassed, I mumbled something to the effect my whole family loves it...and quickly paid and left with 15 dollars worth of yogurt. 

I quickly drove home, to my surprise my daughter was still up and on the phone so I brought in two bags of legitimate groceries,then went out the back door and tried to sneak in the yogurt and hid it in the crisper. But I forgot she had gone to the Piggily Wiggly this afternoon and found fruit and veggies on sale so the crisper was full, had to condense it fast.So I did the unthinkable, I put onions in the same crisper with the cantaloupe and watermelon. Where will our addictions lead us?

I thought I was home free, but she was down this evening so I decided to make her laugh and showed her the cooler. She did laugh, and called me a yogurt addict. How true. 

So now all of you know my sordid secret. I am a addict.

I cannot resist the yogurt thing. Yes that's right. I confess.

My daughter made wonderful tacos for dinner, which I ate then followed it up with two yogurts. 

But to my credit, I didn't touch the Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream....

Tomorrow is, after all, another day. 

Is the Dream a reality?

I was in the 2nd grade in 1963. I lived in Northern California where racism was not felt nearly as keenly. I remember the talk about the march on Washington, I remember my neighbors went and a lotof Afro American were out of school that day.

The first time I had such an experience was also in 1963, I was in the 2nd grade the principle came into the room and asked the teacher to turn the television on, in the middle of math class. the first time even though I was barely 7 I remembered Him saying

"The President has been shot." http://www.metacafe.com/watch/333041/walter_cronkite_jfk/

It's funny even at such a young age, I still here the unbelief, the shock and the sadness in his voice. It was a moment I will forever remember. But so was that day in 1968.

The event this time was the march on Washington and the speech that the nation remembers the most that Dr.King made. Listening to that speech today,still brings chills up and down my spine. http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm

It was powerful. And watching the tens of thousands standing on the Mall in DC was a site of hope. Tomorrow we swear in the first Afro-American President to the greatest country in the world. Does this mean the dream has been realised?

I honestly don't know. But what I do know is this. People are trying harder. Things are easier. mistakes have been made, but they have been corrected. And there is still a small segment of the population who thinks prejudice and hate is the way to go.

Dr King said this about hate:

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

So in our everyday lives do we choose love? Do You?

Tomorrow on his birthday, a fitting day for the swearing in, think not that we are swearing in an Afro American president. But, rather that we are swearing a man with a new vision. A man who will lead us into greatness again, we pray.

And that man, just happens to be Afro-American. If we can think of a great man and not think of his color, we then become color-blind. And prejudice has lost.

Tomorrow is a history making days for many reasons. We are setting forth on a new path, change is inevitable. things most definetly will get worse before, The new adminstration has much to do to correct many wrongs.

And we must stand as a nation, not as a divided one, to perserve.

I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

A future Blogger..a new world

This morning I got up and made pancakes, but Miss Tasha wanted cereal instead. I gave her cereal, but the wrong kind. We finally got straight with the breakfast (Nanny won We have some choices but not always for willful little girls..) She definitely has a mind of her own. 

Natasha likes to do whatever it is the grownups do, today she is sitting at her computer typing her blog. I am sitting at my computer behind her. We are a pair. 

It is so important that we be good role models for our little ones. I hope someday, Tasha does have a blog of her own. by the time she is old enough though, typing blogs will be passe', she will probably talk to her computer and it will type it for her. I wish I could do that some days. 

Any rate she is at her computer and Nanny is at hers and all is right with the world. Our future is in the midst of change right now. The choices the new president has to make are much bigger then what to have for breakfast. The choices our little ones will face will be more devastating then the ones we did.

I remember my grandmother being worried about Nuclear war. Do any of you remember the stop and drop drills? I was in kindergarten, but I remember the commercials, the public system warnings. The dire predictions. I was in California then, and on every street corner was a soothsayer "Tomorrow is the end of the world" they'd crow. Well, I am still here.  Nuclear war is not the big worry these days. It is far more sinister. Terrorism. You can't send your kids to school, you can't send a love one to work and know they will be home safe. Columbine and 9/11 took care of that. Someone ask me once:

What do you call a country that you have to carry gas masks with you, you never know if a loved one will return, from the store or a walk, you always live in fear from day to day?"

I said quietly "Israel"

Israel has lived under the threat of its neighbors for the entire 50 years it has been in existence.

Life is a daily struggle, things that are not big enough to hit the news happen every day. I hear people criticize Israel for the bombing of Gaza, but no one mentions the Palestinian have been terrorizing Israel for months.

The attacks are horrible, yes. But how does one protect itself? And how do we?

Israels enemy's are foreign some of ours are, a lot of ours aren't. Oklahoma city comes to mind, school shootings where a classmate you teased may be the next terrorist. because those are attacks of terrorism as well. 

So, our youngsters have to grow up sooner. They have to afraid sooner. 

The decisions our new government has to make are scarier. they have the world front and the our own territory to worry about. The financial situation, will our kids own a home? Will their be jobs? January 20, the man who will make these decisions is going to be sworn into office. I have heard a lot about his choice of a dog for his girls, I have heard much about the first grandmother and what everyone will be wearing. What I need to hear is that this country is going to be safe for my family. That there will be jobs, not a bailout but real jobs so they can continue to feed their families. I want Natasha to go to school and come home.

So much depends on the next 4 years. and  I pray the new government of change is up to it. 

the life of my kids and the future of my granddaughter depends on it. 

So Mr. Obama I am praying for you. I pray you know the enormous job you have ahead of you. I pray you protect not just your Little one but all our little ones and our military please bring them home with honor. Those of us who remember do not want another reception like the guys got from Vietnam, please support them. On your day remember the country that has many hurting starving and out of work. and good luck to you, sir. our prayers are with you.

Are you listening to your world?

Quiet. Stillness. Our world is so bombarded with noise we hardly know what to do when it is quiet. We had a power failure yesterday for about 10 minutes, and there was total silence in the house. I didn't realize how many little noises we just don't here during the day. 

Tasha and I crawled in bed for the time, it was cold so we snuggled,played finger games and read books. About 30 minutes later I heard a sound like humming and the refrigerator was on, funny I had never heard that before. it was so loud! Tasha jumped out and bed and turned on the big noisemaker, the Television. 

I had to stop and think, before I realize that is the first thing turned on every morning. Even though we don't watch it, it is always in the background. Until night and it is the last thing we turn off. 

I wondered if we were just afraid of silence? so I turned the set off. We spent the day listening. 

We went outside, what could i hear I haven't heard before?

we live two blocks from a major  street, the first thing I heard was the familiar cars, an occasional truck. then I thought about the people in those cars.

Where were they rushing to today? I prayed for the people the fire engine was going to, that no one was hurt. Funny I never thought  about that.

Then I heard the unfamiliar. 

I heard a bird scolding her mate. It had to be because I saw Him fly away a blue jay. I heardsquerrils scurrying trough the leaves. 

I heard way in the distance a baby crying, and I heard a little girl laughing up the road.

the neighbors had a disagreement, i heard their voices but not their words, the UPS man truck stopped across the street. It has a very distict engine i recognized it without seeing it. funny I never noticed before. All UPS trucks sound alike

When my kids were little and I home schooled we listened for the sound of that engine, it meant new school supplies, or presents from California and Grammy and Grandpa.

I spent a few minutes and talked to God. It is, after all His world. 

In our backyard we have a Huge oak tree, and the wind was blowing the branches. A cat meowed and the blue jay went crazy. I know she now she has babies in the tree. We will watch that carefully. 

The Cat, a Siamese who visits us from across the street took off in a fright. The mama blue jay, stood at the top of her nest and scolded.

What a look into nature.

We went back inside, it was after all, time for Dora. And that in Tasha's life is earth shattering. 

I found thinking that I need to listen more. 

How many times has Tasha been chattering to me, and i just nodded my head bu didn't hear?

How many times has an old friend talked to me  and I have only have listened to what was said because i have heard the story before?

I called a friend in Virginia, and really listened to our conversation. She is busily planning her daughters wedding. I learned a lot about the wedding, but a lot of it was prefaced by: I know I told you before but...

HMM, no, I don't remember. but I will remember from now on. Because I listened

I think starting to day, I will listen more. How much of life do we miss because we half listen to what is said, pay no attention to what is gong on around us? We don't take time to listen to nature.

Even our bodies talk to us and we don't listen. 

Ever had a fever and ignore it? then was surprised when you were very sick a week later?

Ever had a little pain and ended up at the doctors office because you ignored the warning?

We should listen to ourselves and other. We should listen to nature because that is God's way of calming us and keeping in in sync and mostly we should just listen because some day, maybe like my ex father in law we won't be able to listen without help. He told me, sadly, when his hearing was going, he always wished he had listened more, because now he couldn't.He tried, but it was all a blur to him.   He's gone now, but I remember.So today I am going to start to listen more.

Beforethe gift is gone.

FYI about the changes...

My daughter started blogging a few days ago,http://www.denisedoucett.blogspot.com/ sat down for the first time and made her blog dramatic and exciting. Well, I thought, I have been blogging  fro 15 Weeks, my blog should be exciting too! so I started playing and well, what you see is the result. I will fix it, Promise and it will look better. Especially that picture that is the size of the blog itself, I just have to figure out how. Just like someday I will figure how to code hyperlinks correctly,  I can't ask my daughter beause, she will, of course snicker, she has to much respect to outright laugh...well maybe not. 

So I will learn to shrink and paste tomorrow maybe even get the hyperlink thing right, ..now I am taking two aspirins setting the DVR for American Idol,  and going to bed...

Nite all

Last day...

I have been fighting a cold so day 3 & 4 have been spent in bed with juice, aspirin and my pillow. Fate always gets in the way. But before I was forced to my bed we did do a little sightseeing on Saturday.

Charleston is a mixture of cobblestone streets, paved cement, and country roads. So from one part of the city to the other you

 never know which century you belong in. Southern Living calls it its favorite city for touristic and for food

. You want to eat something special, Charleston  has it. We have Sushi, Chinese Mexican, American. you name it there is a restaurant for it. 

Downtown everyone walks. The city lends itself to walking tours, the college of Charleston students ride skateboards and bikes, tourist on walking tours enjoy the city more. It is a friendly walk, people smile and nod. Everyone is willing to give directions wherever you need to be. Vendors selling hot doges and sometimes pretzels lend an almost party feeling To  the whole thing.The Battery or White Point Gardens is a beautiful park in the middle of the city. You can hear the band concerts from the old days at the Bandstand in the middle of the park. people walking there dogs, children running on the green grass, couples or runners running along the sidewalk next to the  water. You get an Erie feeling watching the children climbing on the cannons. You look across the water and see Fort Sumter, with it Union Flag flying.Look behind you and you See Rainbow Row and old mansions of the rich who watched the battle first hand. 

On April 14, the silence was split wide open when the confederates fired upon the union encampment therefore starting the Civil. There would not be peace in Charleston for the next 5 years. 

Sitting on the grass, looking out to Charleston Harbor, I wonder if the black marketers slipped there contraband here? Did the Merrimack or Monitor slip past quietly on their way to their great 

battle? How much of history happened here we didn't know about. 

The Ladies sitting on the grass by the bandstand whisper, silly gossiping the days before the war.

When Charleston was the city of the south. Can you hear them?

Now the ships are cruise ships bringing in passengers for a brief

visit before moving on. the Aircraft carrier the Yorktown,, hero of WWII is stationed at Patriot's point. 

We walked downtown and went to Waterfront park, where we found this ship loading and getting to sail for point unknown. 

We walked the pier, children were playing siting in the swings, we saw college kids doing homework, on the grass by the fountain. 

The cobble stone streets were privy to the horse and buggies that carry the tourist and around lending an authentic air to the city. 

There were street preachers there making sure we were saved,  and Charleston's fire department let us know they were on the job.they were removing tin roofing that had blown 

loose in the wind that day. Last year 9 Charleston Fire Fighters were killed in a shoe store fire not to far from where we live. They are honored every day by the community. 

Our time was about up at the meter, we headed back to the car.

We can't say all the is to say about Charleston in one or two posts. As a lover of history there is to much. Too many ghosts walking the streets. 

There are ghost tours so you can look for the ghosts, but why pay to do that? they whisper to you in the breeze. If you are very quiet you can hear the band playing, by the bandstand. You can see Ladies with parasols, and  carriages pulling up to the old mansions, men tipping their hats to say good day. 

The cannons are silent, but you can see the blast in the sky if you look closely.

You can hear the slaves at the drop off point on Sullivan's island, and you can hear them cheering at the same location after the war. At the Citidal the first Miltary school in the new world, you can hear and see generations of soldiers training to protect our country. The only school close in age is VMI inVirginia, home of General Lee and Stonewall. 

Charleston speaks for the south, the good and the bad. She is a proud city. A surviving. and I am proud of her even though she is not my hometown,  She is my home. 

Vacation Diary - day two Charleston SC

Charleston wakes up slowly, easing into the day like a true child of the south. The sun coming over the horizon is weak because of surrounding fog, people on their way to work don't seem to be in the same rush as in other places.  The urgency to get somewhere is not apparent, Charleston will always be here.It has survived the war of northern aggression, the great war and WWII, Korean and Vietnam. Each time the wars have reached deep into the souls of its people and taken their men, their lives, but not their spirit.  Still even though it has the feel of the old days, the new days are here as well. People are on cell phones, mp3 players in their ears. It is an unusual mix of the old and new. 

There is a story about St Peters church in downtown Charleston. It has the highest Steeple in the city, during the civil war the boats would shell Charleston Harbor  aiming at the steeple, The citizens finally painted it black, so they could not see it at night. The shelling stopped.  The steeple still stands a tribute to the surviving spirit of a great city. 

We got up on Day two,. We wanted to get an early start and we got out at 10 am. Well, I think that is early here.

My daughter and I started at the most important place to us. We jumped in her car and headed to North Charleston and Tanger Mall. Tanger Mall, has 90 outlet stores assorted restaurants, 

a dollar store,  gas station and the the big two, Walmart and Sam's club, which were our destinations. An enigma, whats was a pine grove one day was Tanger the next.

We drove around looking for a parking space, which is no small feat. The city has it own brand of people. We drove around looking for a space and lucked up behind a lady who was walking down the middle of the parking aisle, we couldn't pass her so we slowed way down and followed. Suddenly a truck, as if on cue backed  out of a space. It was an old beaten up pickup, with a cover over the bed.   She opened the back door of the truck, proceeded to put her purchases in, put her basket in the roundup, blew us a kiss and waved as she hopped in to the truck and drove away. Only in Charleston. My daughter asks me what was That?

There is but one word for that, I told her an Yiddish word "chutzpah". says it all. 

We finally found a parking space and did our shopping headed out into the day. 

Deni works at Denny's we drove by and to our dismay saw the new golden Corral bursting at the seams, that is going to hurt her business.

Tommy Hilfiger is doing a great business, as is L'egg shop,Timberland's shoes. And I discovered

something. An Outlet Mall just marks things down and makes them affordable for the little people, but not less expensive for us. For instance it is priced out of our range  at the big stores, but just barely in range in the outlet  stores. 

So we headed to Barnes and Nobles,  and Pay less shoes. places we knew we could afford. 

Driving over the Westmoreland  bridge, from North Charleston to West Ashley where we live, the view from the Westmoreland bridge is marsh. On some days, you just know you are in Charleston by the smell, it can be felt from all over the city. 

  General William C  Westmoreland died in Charleston, in 2005 at the age of 92. He led our troops in the Vietnam war to victory. He was a great leader. 

We called it a day. Tomorrow we will head to (today) Summerville. The town it says is on the Historic registry. It shall be interesting...

Links

http://www.tangeroutlet.com/charleston

http://www.notablebiographies.com/newsmakers2/2006-Ra-Z/Westmoreland-William-C.html

Vacation Diary...Charleston SC

Three months ago when we moved to Charleston,we left most of our things in Florida, in storage. We couldn't afford to rent a truck at the time, and we had no where to go we were going to be staying in a hotel until we found someplace. It seemed the most reasonable thing to do. We planned a trip this week to go back and pick up the things, straighten out some driver license hassles Denise has been having, visit friends Tasha's other grandparents, her dad well you get the picture. But it ended up we have to cancel. Money situation, so I went to work and asked for my days back 7 days :5 vacation and two regular  days off. No, I was told. It is already in the system. The computer can't be changed. I hate computers! 

Butthen, I thought,  I live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, well at least the USA The south? No matter, Charleston is a city full of rich history and heritage. (Remember Rhett wasn't received in Charleston,) It even has an aircraft carrier, three beaches, a Huge museum and several smaller ones. Yes, so I am going to see Charleston this week and keep a diary of my daily visits. So jumping in:

Day one: 

Today started slow, because it was the first day of vacation. I took my daughter to work like always, came home and crashed. (I didn't get home from work until 3am took her in at 5am)

Tasha and I slept for a couple of hours, (she is usually a morning person ) then picked up her mom and ran errands. 

Library, paid bills, window shopping, looked for a store that apparently doesn't exists, down from the bowling alley, I won't tell you what kind of store (No not that kind! Behave! this is a clean blog) got stuck in traffic, a car tried to run me off I26, I cut off a car on I526 (by accident but at least we're all even now a tit for a tat) went to the post office to pick up our mail and tell them not to hold it, and drowned our sorrows in Taco Bell.

Through all of this, somewhere in our travels while my back was turned: my nose  starts to run, my throat is scratchy, my head begins to hurt Must be allergies.

Has to be, right? 

5:30 pm first day in bed with scratchy throat, apple cider and Alka Seltzer cold and sinus. 

So tomorrow is another day.  We will start over. We've got plans. gonna beat this cold tonight!

In Memory of....A hard one to write

It's dreary and rainy in Charleston today. The temps according to my trusty Weather Bug (which keeps chirping at me) is an annoying 66 degrees. That of course means thunderstorms later this afternoon, making The day a little less dreary. Face it,  scary as they are, there is nothing dreary about a thunderstorm. 

Luckily Natasha has never been afraid of thunder and lightening. Tasha has never been afraid of anything. She has flown across the room, flying from bed to bed giving her mother and I symptoms of  a major heart attack, also scaling stairs like they were level when she was one. In one way I am proud of her, in another I keep expecting the broken legs and arms that come with such an adventurous child. How does one keep them safe?

When my baby died, it wasn't dark and dreary. It was bright and sunny. The day had been like any other. The doctors had said she was ready to go back to Normal after her surgery.

She had fought with her brother. Whispered secrets with her sister. I re

member most, she called her best friend Stephanie and they laughed about Stephanie's first day of school, new friends they would make and to meet at church on Wednesday. 

Then went into the girls bathroom to check on a tooth that was coming out, and as I walked her upstairs Promised her it would come out soon and the tooth fairy would be here.

She stopped, turned and looked at me and called me. Then fell in my arms. I knew she was gone.

I remember confusion from the other kids, calling 911. I couldn't get through, my son begging me to let him do it. "I can do it mom, really!" he kept pleading. I was too afraid he wouldn't know what to say. A guilt I still live with. The ambulance. The Hospital. Friends. The Pastor sitting there, when they told me what I already knew. My Sharon was gone. 

She has been on my mind so much lately, I don't know if it is proper to blog about this sort of 

thing. But I want to talk about how I felt and still do. I look at my Tasha and so desperately want to keep her safe from harm, but I can't.  And I know this. 

The Surgery was over, she was supposed to be better! Her life after spending 11 years of being sick was going to change. She was going to run and play with the other kids, she had never been able to before. We spent all day Sunday with her sister and her friend Stephanie shopping for Jeans for her because she was supposed to gain weight and be able to wear them now. She was 60 pounds at 11 years old. Life for her was just beginning. But it ended.

I am so Angry. Still I am angry.That this child was called home. I know God knows best. I know she is in a better place. By the way, when you are dealing with a grief stricken person NEVER say those things. they are not comforting when all you want is that person to be here in this place. We are a selfish people when it comes to our loved ones. All we can think of is, we will never hold this child, this man, this women again.

I still ache today to talk to her, to have her climb in my lap, to have her fight with her brother.

I'm the little  sister she would say, I am supposed to be annoying. Eric was not amused. 

I am about to lose my Tasha in a few months, although not in the same way. Her mother is returning to school and moving far away. Part of the starting over process for her was to be able to finish school and get a career. 

Although I feel my heart breaking, I must let go she must do what is best. 

But loss is not something easy to take. My heart still has a huge piece left out of it, one that will never be replaced until I go home.

In the year that followed Sharon's death, my mother and father died in different states from each other, one of cancer one was murdered. My brother died of a stroke and my other brothers two boys were killed in a gun fight in Rockford, Ill  city of death for kids. That was not a year to relive. Still I keep coming back to keeping them safe, where I started. 

I can't keep Tasha safe. I can't even keep her mom safe, although her mom is old enough to take care of herself. But the feeling we want of making sure our little ones never get hurt, never feel pain, never ever having to go anywhere with out us, How do we cope?

With God's help we cope.. Natasha has shut herself in her favorite cabinet under the sink. She is going to "work" she says. She just happens to "work" at Denny's where her mom works. She "shops" at Wal Mart where her Nanny works. All people who she trust to keep her safe.

No matter  what we will do our best. God already has plans and knows the future. Sharon was "safe" walking up the stairs. My Nephew's were watching television in there living room. So supposedly they were "safe" 

The world is a dangerous. It has always been. I remember scaring my grandmother as I used the porch railing for gymnastics. I remember climbing on the roof and jumping off at 10. My son, by the way did the same thing. We do our best. God must do the rest We supply the faith and prayers. 

The sun is making a temporary appearance, peeking out from behind a cloud like it is playing hide and seek.

I see squirrels, which means Natasha will be running after them soon. Poor squirrels, no peace at all. She is coming out of the cabinet and heading for the back door. I hear her laughter as she sees the squirrels. She calls me, "Mom" the squirrels, the squirrels! and runs out the door. But wait. Do I just hear one child's laughter? No I think in the balmy Charleston day, with the sun going back behind a cloud, for a minute I heard more then one child's laughter. I think I heard the laughter of the many  children who are now truly safe. With our Father. And mixed in with that laughter is Sharon's. Watching out for her niece, letting me know she is safe., and yes mom Now I can run and play with the other kids. 

I love you Sharon, Please be happy. I will see you soon. 

Rites of passage:The Potty training experience

Today is the day,I decided. The big day. The important day, it comes but once in a lifetime for a person. Today I will start it and Natasha will be on her way to independence. she will accomplish much! She will do great things, and maybe become president! Yes! This is the day we start her on a new life and new adventure!

Today I will start  potty training! Yes! and a new world will unfold! All right, this was probably a tad dramatic. Let me roll it back a bit.

It probably isn't the best day. We are going to Florida on Thursday for 4 days and that will interrupt the procedure, but everyone has to start somewhere.

Not that we haven't been trying, but Natasha has told us in no uncertain terms, going potty simply is not for her. yet, today we had a change of heart, I was on my computer busily twittering something I do every morning, when Tasha came up to me and gave me a hug. I asked her if she wanted cereal and she replied Yes, but she really wanted to go potty first and then eat her cereal. 

So, after about 2 seconds of shock, I flew from my computer, feet b

barely touching the hard wood floors and set up her potty, removed new pair of Christmas jeans, that had fancy new belt, removed pull ups and sat her gently in the seat of seat. 

I sat on the side of the tub, and talked to her and talked to her, and played finger games for 20 minutes. I turned the water on.(worked for her mom) and Sang songs. For 5 minutes and 15 seconds. She had a ball.

 I finally, decided that she didn't really need to go she just thought she did and that was a good start. I took her off and put her pull up back in place.

When she promptly took care of business.

I don't know whose timing was off,hers or mine, but I just sighed. Potty training can be a long process or short. 

I remember her Mother, Denise walked up to me and said Tammy goes potty, I want to to..and she did. Never looked back. 

Her uncle was a little more of a battle. He just didn't want to, but in the long run he acquiescence, I guess he discovered it was easier then watching Mommy cry. My youngest daughter was ill. She  was suffering from heart disease that would later claim her life. I was always softer on her. I couldn't bring myself to force her, so she just did it herself. One day I found her sitting on the potty like Eric and Denise. Mission accomplished. Who says peer pressure is a bad thing?

we will accomplish the training thing, It might take a minute. But more frightening then that to me, is the next project.

Yes, you guessed it. The Sippy Cup. Second only to the Bo Bo or pacifier, what just has to go. My daughter like any mother is slow in instituting these rites of passage. It takes her baby from babyhood, to childhood. getting her closer to that dreaded age, teenager and of course leaving home. 

Don't we all want them to stay at that age. I have sketches of memories, that make me smile when they com out of the blue. 

 My baby, my Sharon waking her up in the morning and her saying to me, "let me sleep just a little minute" and lying back down. How long is a little  minute? Didn't matter she got her wish.  Denise being the peacemaker between her older brother and younger sister. "it's a tough job, mom" She said once. 

And Eric, the only boy therefore he should be the boss, right? So he thought then and sometimes still thinks. His sisters put him in his place.  "Girls!" He said more then once.

Rites of passage from infant to toddler to child to teen to married and gone.  We pass through this time and it hardly seems to us we have.I think someone stole that time from us, because wasn't it just yesterday I was training Denise? not her daughter? Wasn't it yesterday, Sharon was climbing in my lap with her Teddy Bear wanting a hug? And wasn't it yesterday, Eric tried to blow up the house because he didn't know throwing lighter fluid was very flammable when you throw it on hot coals in the Weber?

Savor the rites of passage. time flies, life changes and in a moment we are training our grand kids instead of our kids. 

So, as I always say, Life goes on.

Does any one stay together anymore?

Lying here in darkness

I hear the sirens wail

Somebody going to emergency

Somebody going to jail

if you find somebody to love in this world

better hold on tooth and nail

the wolf is always at the door

My daughter sent a poll out on her cell phones to all of her friends asking, "Can a man and women be faithful for the rest of their lives?" the response she got was amazing. Most of the responses were yes.

She asked because she has had two serious relationships, both husbands cheated. She is now afraid of having a serious relationship. Most of her friends seem to have similar problems.Has the world changed, or has our culture changed so much we don't think we need to be faithful.

In my generation, the "me" generation I am surprised that we are more likely to be faithful. Remember the 60's and 70's? I was in California in the late sixties. I visited Haight-Ash bury, I even hitched hiked with some friends to Woodstock New York for a concert...(smile)

I remember I had friends living in communes. I have a very good friend today who lived with her husband in a commune, they eventually in the 80's married, became respectable and had 6 kids. They became Christian, home schooled and put as much passion into raising their children and living their new lifestyle as they did in commune. I used to visit and totally admire their lifestyle.

In a New York minute everything

Everything can change

In a New York minute

things can get a little strange

In a New York minute

everything can change

in a New York minute

then she woke up one morning, and realized it was a dream. that her relationship was not what she thought.She didn't know when it had changed. there wasn't any cheating involved, she just decided to go to work and he became different.After a few weeks she realized she was in an abusive relationship with a controlling man. after a month she realized she had always been.

Divorced was immenent.

She landed on her feet. She is still my hero.

Shortly thereafter my marriage collapsed. but it had been headed that way for a long time.

Does anyone stay together anymore?

Both of my kids were victims of mates who cheated on them. Both mates acted like it was the thing to do. In fact my daughters last relationship told her that she should cheat on him, she would feel better. He was very surprised when they broke up.

I don't know when the rules of relationships changed. My daughter asks me if she should trust anymore. My standard answer is "yes" you just have to find the right person.

People find mates online, bars, etc. Relationships seem so fleeting. No one seems to take commitment seriously.

In these days

When Darkness falls early

and people rush home

to the ones you love

you better take a fools advice

take care of your own

one day they are here

next day they are gone.

I tell her, a relationship is work. You have to decided to make it work. It is too people who make a commitment together and decided they are going to do the work, not make the easy way out.

It is not about a soul mate, not finding the love of your life, it is about loving the one you are with, and making that work. You can go from relationship to relationship and never find "the One" but at some point you will look back and realize you did find them, you just missed it.

we were to busy looking, to see. The contacts were rose colored, then when reality set it it seemed to much work. But how much work is to much to make it last?

I don't have any answers, but I know it is a difficult world out there. i find myself single again. And I don't know the rules, but that's OK, because I am going to play by my rules.

As I tell Deni, prove to yourself you don't need a man in your life. You can make it on your own. When you do that, and are totally self sufficient, when you meet Him your eyes are not rose covered, but open\. and you can decide if it is worth the work, because it will be work for both sides and one will always work harder.

In a New York Minute

Everything can change

In a New York minute

You can get out of the rain

In a New York Minute

everything can change

In a new York minute

So, whats the answer to her question. There isn't a correct one. Yes, out there they are people staying together. They have found the secret. It's not some big secret only a few know. It's not mysterious. It's not even hard. It is good old fashion hard work, commitment, and love. Not of the heart, but of the whole body and spirit. It's looking at someone and saying, this is my choice.l

Lyric New York Minute by the Eagles